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| Off to the Carribean! |
| 02.19.04 (4:30 pm) [edit] |
Near done packing now!
I'll talk to you guys when I get back on the 8th.
Miss ya'll! :D
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| heh |
| 02.18.04 (6:08 pm) [edit] |
Smallville. :D :D :D :D :D
Is it a bad thing it was just the highlight of my week so far?, lol.
Yeah, I'd say so.
Carribean day after tomorrow! Whoo!
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| song |
| 02.16.04 (5:39 pm) [edit] |
Good lyrics, correct time line to now. Too bad there isn't anyone out there to whom this song could go to.
[b]"February 1994" Fisher[/b]
February 1994
- coldest Valentine L.A.’s ever known
All I gave you were tears without a cause
And I don’t know why I could not say
the words inside my heart
I need you
You are my life - I love you
Heaven is mine - I want you I…want you I…
Hear me
More than my life I love you
More than the sky I need you I…want you I…
All your roses - faded from the light –
hang in my window to remind me of the night
I said nothing and you faded away
I’d give anything
to take back all the things I didn’t say
I want you
More than the sun I need you
Heaven is mine - I want you I…want you I…
Hear me
You are my life - I love you
More than the sky I need you I…want you I…
And I know that if you’d come to me
Like you did before I’d love you
-swear I would always need you
You are my life
I’d want you I – I’d need you I…
Hear me
More than my life I’d love you
More than the sky I’d need you I…I want you I…
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| Great... |
| 02.16.04 (2:50 pm) [edit] |
Mood: Alone
Song: "Wonderwall" Ryan Adams
Today wasn't a very good day. I guess it was just like any other. Well, there was a pep rally for hockey, but it was downright horrible. After school, now, keeps getting worse. I couldn't stand it. I had to leave, even though they probably think I'm a bitch now. Whatever, it's what I deserve.
It can all be forgotten - just 4 more days.
Ditto to everything mentioned in the previous blog.
[i]PS- Suddenly missing 100 more tbucks. I sent some to someone, but for some reason 200 went away instead of 100. Kinda annoying.[/i]
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| Need to get away |
| 02.14.04 (8:46 pm) [edit] |
Mood: Bored, and quickly reaching that undesirable point
Song: "I Will Love You" Fisher
Valentine's day. Whoo-pee. All that happened was 4 hours of homework, some more packing for my trip, some cleaning, and playing with my neighbour's dog. I'm such a loser, aren't I?
Geoff and Caiti went to see 50 First Dates. I really wanted to see that, but I doubt I will now. Oh well. Good for them.
At the moment I'm bored out of my mind, and quickly reaching that depressed/sad point that comes up every Valentine's day. Found myself downloading a lot of really slow, sad songs at the moment, in place of the loud rock. Oh, yay.
I honestly can't wait to get away to the Carribean. To not have to deal with everyone here (well, other than my family, but I can just go off and lay on the beach or something by myself to avoid them). I won't have to feel uncomfortable around my two once-best friends. Won't need to mope around being a loner, spending entire days doing lame, nerdy crap. I'll be far, far away from it all. Heck, maybe we'll get stranded there and I won't ever have to come back here again. I'd be fine with that. I hate it here.
Lyrics from some good songs I just downloaded. Pretty good.
[b]"Here Nor There" Andy Stochansky[/b]
Did you ever want to go
leave love to those who know
did you ever say
i stopped in the middle
or the fear of being hurt
the one you loved could be so curt
and then you say i'm stuck in the middle
so remember this
it's from now it was the kiss
from the day you were
stuck in the middle
did you ever close your eyes
did you let him walk by
think to yourself
this is going nowhere
did you ever need to know
if he could love you so
but then you said
this is going nowhere
so remember this
it's from now it was the kiss
on the day you were
stuck in the middle
please don't pretend
not tonight, not at ever
please don't pretend
not tonight, not ever
please don't pretend
this will not end..
did you ever need to know
if he could love you so
but then he says i'm stuck in the middle
but then he says i'm stuck in the middle
but then he says..
[b]"I Will Love You" Fisher[/b]
`Til my body is dust
`til my soul is no more
I will love you, love you
`Til the sun starts to cry
and the moon turns to rust
I will love you, love you
But I need to know - will you stay for all
time...forever and a day
Then I`ll give my heart `til the end of all
time...forever and a day
`Til the storms fill my eyes
and we touch the last time
I will love you, love you...
[b]"Inflatable" Bush[/b]
let it slide
overhead
when i believe in you
my soul can rest
but our love
it's really love
it never fades
but fade it does
when we shine
like the sun
you seem the only one
my only friend
so pretty in white
pretty when you're faithful
so pretty in white
pretty when you're faithful
when you're faithful
i resigned
from myself
took a break
was someone else
it's like i've come undone
and i've only just become
inflatable for you
i don't mind
most of the time
but you push me so
far inside
The funny thing is, I'm not in love. I don't love anybody. There is no one to feel such way about.
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| Friday! :) |
| 02.13.04 (9:55 pm) [edit] |
Mood: Content
Song: "Rawkfist" Thousand Foot Krutch
Yay for Friday. It was actually pretty cool. Had a totally awesome hypnotist at school today - honestly, the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. Wow.
Played some Twister after school with Geoff and Caiti. What a cool game. Took some pictures with the camera Caiti gave me for my b-day. So that's cool.
And now... I'm bored. Oh, yay. Tomorrow's valentine's day, but I'll be spending it doing homework, I guess. Whoo-pee. :roll:
Less than a week 'til I go on my trip. Yay! :D
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| Monday |
| 02.09.04 (7:07 pm) [edit] |
Mood: Content
Song: "Fade" Staind
Grr, MSN ain't working.
Well, anyways. Blew some money tonight!, heh. Well, had to spend all that gift certificate money sometime. :D Since I'm going to an island on vacation, I bought some new sunglasses. There was some really, really amazing ones but they were either Oakley or Nike, so of course they cost at least $100. I settled on some awesome $50 ones. They're cool - coolest sunglasses I've ever had and I actually paid for them myself... go me! I also bought new headphones, because ya gotta do something during those long flights. Only $30-something, and are really cool. No headband thingy or whatever. They just hook over your ears. Have amazing sound quality too, and the colours actually match my discman, heh. So yes. I'm happy. :D (pathetic that it takes material objects to make me happy, isn't it?)
Anyways, Valentine's day is coming up. Hasn't been a good holiday for me for the past couple years. Ends up being one of the days of the year I'm most-depressed. Then again, a lot of my creativity comes from my depression... so that's both good and bad, I guess. We'll see what happens. I think I'll be leaving Caiti and Geoff alone that day though. Witnessed a very lengthy kiss today between the two of them. Holy crap, talk about awkward. But, whatever...
Anyways, going to die in school over the next 8 days. So much freakin' work to do before I go away. Ack!
Stupid MSN, why don't you work!!??!??!??!
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| 02.07.04 (9:27 pm) [edit] |
So sick. Ugh. I hate whoever gave me this. Keep losing my voice, my throat is so sore I don't even want to breathe or swallow. Bah!
On the other hand, saw three good movies. Radio, Resident Evil, and My Boss's Daughter. :) Yay.
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| .. |
| 02.05.04 (7:48 pm) [edit] |
It's still going on. They're so happy. So at peace. So comfortable around each other. Such petty problems. Not knowing one trivial fact about the other is not a big deal.
Then again, to everyone else my problems aren't a big deal either. I shouldn't say anything more. Just keep my mouth shut and keep my troubles to myself. Don't want to be more of a burden... it's all I'll ever be.
My mother knows - got into a bit of an arguement over their "status". Father pissed that I "let that kind of thing go on in our house". Still not allowed to have them over for a while. Mother says they won't last - when they fall out, it'll cause more chaos. I know that. I knew that. Even from the start. Just how much longer 'til it happens? Sure, they're good for now - kicking me out of the room so they can do their thing...so relieved his mother didn't walk out. That would be awkward.
But everything's awkward. Uncomfortable. Strange. I don't want to be around that. Don't want to experience that. Yet I know it won't end.
Still must go on. Though I'm falling into the plain ways now. Black is good. Black is plain. Black is a comfort. Doesn't shout out for attention that it will never get. Is just there, and no one cares about it.
I like black.
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| . |
| 02.05.04 (7:24 pm) [edit] |
Sick. Cold. Tired. Sad. Lonely. Bored. Unappreciated. Overwhelmed.
Concert wasn't the greatest - good performance, horrible seats. Experience was slightly unnerving. Drugs, drunks, pat-downs...
I'm just the third wheel. Parents angry over something I didn't even do, and so am not allowed to have those certain friends over.
A Perfect Circle's coming to Winnipeg. But I won't get to go. Don't get to go to the next Nickelback concert either.
Going to die in homework because of this trip. Trip's screwing up everything.
I wish it would all just end. I hate life.
... But at least they're happy ...
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| Nickelback tonight! |
| 02.03.04 (2:12 pm) [edit] |
Whoo-hoo!!
Nickelback concert tonight, featuring Three Days Grace and Staind!
I can't wait! :D :D :D :D :D :D
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| Ugh |
| 02.02.04 (3:27 pm) [edit] |
Mood: Tired
Song: "Set It Off" POD
Bah, I hate school. Err, well mostly just only like two classes. Ah, maybe make that one. I'm going to die in math, I know it. Stupid damn grade 10 math - literally, half my class [i]is[/i] grade 10's. It's scary. And the teacher's a complete weirdo. He can't write numbers properly, so I got like all my questions on the assignment wrong. And did I mention I was surrounded by older people? Yeah. I also don't know any of the grade 9's either. I don't think I can last the final 4 months or whatever. Graphics is a little weird too. The teacher seems like a nice enough guy, but I know all but one person - and even then, that person is only nice enough to sit with me, but we barely even talk. Ughh!! I'm even still hating English. That stupid presentation. I could die over it too. How do I make it fun and interesting. I mean, it's "Racism". Anything I can think of isn't appropriate for school, etc. I think I'll be lame and try and find a copy of Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech. How exciting.
*Still* feeling sick. Just won't go away. But I'm not going to mention it to anyone. Rather deal with it on my own.
In a crappy mood. Wish to do something with my friend's, but even that is making me feel like more and more of a third wheel. I just know I annoy them to such extremes. I really should just leave them be - let them enjoy their happiness together.
**[i]stumbles off to go hide in bed[/i]** :(
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"'Twixt truth and madness lies but a sliver of a stream"
-Hamlet, Shakespeare
~*~*~*~
"I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone."
-The Shawshank Redemption
~*~*~*~
"We all start off wanting to change the world, but in the end the only thing that matters is changing one person's world."
-Unknown
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